Language
Language. The principle method of human communication. It is one of the many ways we have in our human experience to connect and share with others. We all yearn to be seen and understood yet, too often our communication fails us. Each person has their own way of communication influenced by their backgrounds and temperament, amongst other things.
Throughout my journey, I have dedicated careful observation to evolving my communication style, striving for greater cooperation and clarity. Language is an incredibly powerful tool, yet it is astonishing how frequently we misinterpret one another. Reflecting upon this journey, I have recognized a significant impact on my ability to speak with clarity and listen attentively when I became aware of the use of modal verbs of obligation and the importance of discerning when and how to employ these words effectively.
Modal verbs are words of obligation:
Must
Need
Have to
Ought to
Want to
Should
I have observed how liberally we employ modal verbs of obligation (essentially demands or judgments placed on ourselves and others), often oblivious to the ways in which they constrain our choices, influence our emotional state, direct our energy, affect the quality of our work, and shape our overall approach to our tasks.
As a creative individual, I cherish the automony to explore designs in my own unique way and appreciate the trust placed in me to do so. Unfortunately, the work environments we frequently find ourselves in do not always foster such freedom. We encounter pressing deadlines and numerous meetings, leaving us with a pervasive sense of urgency that stifles creative thinking and limits our ability to work freely..
Let's imagine a scenario: You’re in a meeting for a new feature. Your company’s perceived competitor launched a new feature a little earlier in the week. The concern is palpable among some attendees. There is a reaction coming from product owners and the data analysts. Designers are informed about the impending new feature.
A familiar sentence could follow from anyone in that room, that speaks along the lines of:
Person: “We should get together today and look at the feature and our data.”
This seemingly innocent sentence carries an underlying message that immediate action is the only correct course of action. It is not an invitation to collaborate; it is a judgment containing a modal verb of obligation—an unconscious demand for an immediate response. This fuels a perpetual sense of urgency, leaving little room for further cooperation, discussion, creative opportunities, and proactive initiatives. Before we know it, a new project is on the table, and the design team is brought on board to begin. Others follow suit, and soon we find ourselves bound by arbitrary deadlines without ever questioning how we arrived at them. Countless times have I found myself in such situations.
One of the first things I now encourage my team to do is observe the frequency with which they use modal verbs of obligation throughout the day. I urge them to adopt alternative language choices and observe the positive impact it has on their communication with one another and with themselves.
Instead, I encourage the use of replacement words such as:
Could
Wish to/for
Desire for
Try to
These simple adjustments in language have proven instrumental in making workshops more engaging, collaborative, and fostering diverse contributions from all participants.
The evolution for previous conversation could evolve into something like this:
Person: “How do you guys feel about a quick check-in? We could get together after this and look at the feature and our data?”
The sentence provided in the earlier example undergoes minor tweaks, but its construction transforms into an invitation for collaboration. I strongly believe that removing these words from our core language vocabulary initiates an open and relaxed dialogue. Consequently, those involved feel welcome to ask questions, receive feedback, and set more realistic expectations regarding work commitments. By eliminating modal verbs of obligation, designers gain the mental space to access their creative resources, giving room to more possibilities beyond what is perceived in that reactionary moment.
Moreover, let's consider the importance of how we speak to ourselves. At a personal level, these words can manifest as heightened stress, leading to inadequate reactions, mental and creative blockages (the infamous Fuck Phase), lack of motivation, and even potential illness or burnout. When we find ourselves constantly thinking and saying “I have to get this done today (and there are no other possible outcomes)”, and “I should be more productive (because anything less is not good enough)”, we subject ourselves to heightened stress and limit our sense of fulfillment. However, by embracing alternative language choices like "I wish to get this done today (but that may not happen)" or "I could be more productive (but I choose differently at this moment)," we create room for acceptance that not everything will go according to plan and that all actions are choices we make.
This seemingly small change in our language usage serves as the foundation for nurturing well-being, fostering creative flow, and experiencing greater satisfaction in our creative work. It allows us to embrace the inherent uncertainties of our tasks and approach them with a mindset of acceptance and self-compassion.
