Who did I aspire to be?
Who was the design lead I had always envisioned myself becoming? I often found myself pondering this question, especially as I took the reins and began leading. Now, as I reflect upon my nearly decade-long journey, I realize it wasn't always about achieving some preconceived standard or image. In fact, the more I grew, the more I understood that the path to becoming a great design lead was far more intricate and personal than I'd ever imagined.
In my early days, I looked up to my seniors with a certain awe, mistakenly believing they had all the answers. With time, I realized that, much like me, they were learning and evolving every day. Experience undoubtedly brings wisdom, but it doesn't translate to omniscience. As a designer, I saw my peers, like myself, caught in this perpetual cycle of yearning for what they didn't possess. The world of design is vast and ever-evolving. As technology advances and industries intertwine, the learning never truly ends.
I imagine my team may see me as a beacon of knowledge... But the truth? I don’t have all the answers. This epiphany made me recall my own journey, my own struggles, and my own idols. Recognizing this was liberating. It was a weight off my shoulders to understand that I didn't need to mirror someone else’s journey; instead, I could chart my own path.
Vulnerability and leadership, to some, may seem at odds. However, there is a profound strength in letting go of the facade and interacting with your team as genuine human beings. By releasing these expectations, not only did I build stronger bonds with my team, but I also began to understand their unique aspirations. This understanding allowed me to tailor my approach, guiding them according to their own dreams and not some prefixed standards.
In the world of design, and perhaps in life, no one truly has everything figured out. And there's beauty in that uncertainty. Asking my team about their five-year plans isn't about holding them to a rigid trajectory. It's about understanding their desires and reassuring them that it’s alright not to know or to change their path. Life, much like design, isn't linear.
I often describe our journey using the analogy of a triple pendulum. Short-term goals might be clearer, defined, almost tangible. They swing back and forth, reminiscent of our daily tasks. The midterm goals, however, tend to throw us off course, muddying our clarity. Yet, they're crucial in shaping our long-term aspirations, which, while having a bit more freedom, are often shaped by the resistance and learnings of our mid-term experiences.
Ultimately, life isn't a race with a finish line that's etched in stone, though I once naively believed it to be so. I harbored this dream that one day I'd metamorphose into the design lead I'd always aspired to be. And then, there was a subtle realization - perhaps I had reached that point and simply hadn't noticed. But then, the very fact that I hadn't noticed was evidence enough of the journey’s ongoing nature. There was, and still is, so much to learn and discover. In design, much like life, it’s not imperative to have an answer for everything. Pretending to have all the wisdom isn't just unrealistic; it's a disservice to oneself.
My ambitions once painted a picture of a larger-than-life design leader, a paragon of knowledge and perfection; holding workshops and nailing the brief with confidence. But clarity dawned upon me that this goal, as lofty and grand as it seemed, was but a mirage. The reality is that every day might not be a masterpiece, and I might not always live up to this idealized image. However, with the unwavering support of my team, I continue to push boundaries, to learn, and to give my best… sometimes flying by the seam of my pants. Perhaps, that’s what my leads were doing too!
Embracing the intricate paradox of leadership has gifted me invaluable insights. While our pasts, laden with dreams and guidance, remain an integral part of our identities, it's vital to stay adaptive and receptive. Each team member brings with them a unique set of dreams, challenges, and needs. As I stride forward in my journey, I strive to remember this. Every individual on my team deserves personalized guidance, enabling them to carve out their unique paths in this vast design landscape.
